THIS WILL TRIP U OUT!!
IT REALLY GIVE MY SPELL CHECKED A WORK OUT!!!!
Don't delete this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read it.
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg.The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?
yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt!
A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her 5 -year-old son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son saying, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now... cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses on the train...cause we're going down the tracks. The horrified mother went in and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with
your train...but I want you to use nice language."
Two hours later, the boy came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say... "All passengers, please remember your things, thank you and hope
your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She heard her little darling continue..."For those of you just boarding, remember, there is no smoking in the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today." As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen...."
Letter From Camp
Dear Mom and Dad,
Our Scoutmaster told us to write to our
parents in case you saw the flood on TV and are worried. We are okay. Only one of our tents and 2
sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none
of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Adam when it happened.
Oh yes, please call Adam's mother and tell
her he is okay. He can't write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search and rescue jeeps. It was neat... We never would have found Adam in the dark
if it hadn't been for the lightning. Scoutmaster Keith got mad at Adam for going on a hike alone without
telling anyone. Adam said he did tell him, but it was during the fire so he probably didn't hear him. Did you know that if you put gas on a fire, the gas will blow up? The wet wood didn't burn, but one of the
tents did and also some of our clothes. Mathew is
going to look weird until his hair grows back.
We will be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster
Keith gets the bus fixed. It wasn't his fault about the wreck. The brakes worked okay when we left. Scoutmaster Keith said that with a bus that old you have to expect something to break down; that's probably why he can't get insurance. We think it's a neat bus. He
doesn't care if we get it dirty, and if it's hot, sometimes he lets us ride on the fenders. It gets pretty hot with 45 people in a bus. He let us take turns riding in the
trailer until the highway patrol man stopped and
talked to us. Scoutmaster Keith is a neat guy. Don't worry, he is a good driver. In fact, he is teaching Jessie how to drive on the mountain roads where there isn't any traffic. All we ever see up there are logging trucks.
This morning all of the guys were diving off
the rocks and swimming out in the lake. Scoutmaster Keith wouldn't let me because I can't swim, and Adam was afraid he would sink because of his cast, so he let
us take the canoe across the lake. It was great.
You can still see some of the trees under the water from the flood. Scoutmaster Keith isn't crabby like some
scoutmasters. He didn't even get mad about the life jackets. He has to spend a lot of time working on the bus so we are trying not to cause him any trouble.
Guess what? We have all passed our first aid
merit badges. When Andrew dived into the lake and cut his arm, we got to see how a tourniquet
works. Steven and I threw up, but Scoutmaster
Keith said it probably was just food poisoning from the leftover chicken. He said they got sick that way with food they ate in prison. I'm so glad he got out and became our scoutmaster. He said he sure figured out how to get things done better while he was doing his time. By the way, what is a pedal-file? I have to go now. We are going to town to mail our letters and
buy some more beer. Don't worry about anything. We are fine.
Mrs. Jenkins comes to visit her son Anthony for dinner...who lives with a female roommate Vikki...
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how
pretty Anthony's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a
relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started
to wonder if there was more between Anthony and his roommate than met the
eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Anthony volunteered, "I know what you must
be thinking, but I assure you, Vikki and I are just roommates."
About a week later, Vikki came to Anthony saying, "Ever since your mother
came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You don't
suppose she took it, do you?"
"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure." So he sat down and
wrote:
(This is cute)..........
Dear Mama,
I'm not saying that you 'did' take the sugar bowl from my house, I'm not
saying that you 'did not' take it. But the fact remains that it has been
missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love,
Anthony
Several days later, Anthony received a response email from his Mama, which
read:
Dear Son,
I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Vikki, and I'm not saying that you
'do not' sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she were sleeping in
her OWN bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now.
Love,
Mama
Lesson of the day:
Don't Lie to Your Mother
Posted at 11:46 pm by AudiDriver
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